Thursday, October 3, 2013

It Remains To Be Seen

My hands wished to
Draw a leaf
Not words, with a pencil
No color, just graphite
Like a "B" or "2B"
Soft, to smudge
And glide
Not scratch the paper
I was striving for lush
Instead shadows eluded me
And I got bones
A leaf skeleton
It's not really finished
But I am
Finished
With the drawing
For now

For now
The drawing is finished
But, I am not really finished
It's a leaf skeleton
I got bones
Instead of shadows
That eluded me
I was striving for lush
Not to scratch the paper
And glide, soft to smudge
Like a "B" or "2B"
No color just graphite
A pencil, not words
To draw a leaf
Like my hands wished

This is offered for Laurie's intriguing prompt at poetry jam, poetryjaam.blogspot.com, to write a poems and then rewrite it "backwards". I love cycles and refrains so I really wanted to do this.  I think I like the backwards version better (figures...).  Based on a true story, happened today.... 

27 comments:

  1. Sara, I like both versions really; but I am struck, in reading other poems as well as your own, how often the message is strengthened in the backward reading. I also very much empathize with the message. I have drawn (in the past), and often what I strive for is not really accomplished....but eventually one has to declare one's drawing FINISHED. It is what it is!

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    1. Hi Mary! Yes, you have to know when to say "enough" :-) For me art has become more of a meditation, and while the drawing or painting may not be exactly what I want, the process of creating it puts me in a very happy place

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  2. I have been there so often that i have learned to let the paint paint the picture or I will be unhappy because it is not what I started to paint at all

    Love your poem

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    1. Hi Rae! I love your art. You are right, the pencil or paintbrush have to have their way:-) Thank you!

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  3. This really works and the second poem is quite powerful, very well done.

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    1. Hi Alan! Thank you very much, you write a very powerful poem, too :-)

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  4. A very good poem that works really well both ways. I enjoyed reading about your creative process when you drew that leaf.

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    1. Hi Gabriella! Thank you, glad to share with you :-)

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  5. smiles...i like the small adjustments that you made in the mirror version....i enjoy sketching myself...a leaf has some cool textures to capture as well.....and the second one i thought brought out more emotion as well....hope you are having a great friday!

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    1. Hi Brian! How cool that you sketch too--nature has always inspired me, leaves are so interesting--I tried to post the sketch, but I was using a mobile device and it didn't work--user error
      *wink*

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    2. ah. maybe you can work it out...would be cool to see...i will have to break out one of mine sometime too...smiles.

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    3. I don't know how to do it in Blogger, but check your Google plus--:-) Hope you do share some art soon

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  6. I have to echo everyone's sentiments, Sara... and I do think leaves are so hard to draw. I think of rubbings intsead...

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  7. Hi Laurie! Ioved your poems--and you're right, leaves are hard to draw:-)

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  8. This is really good! And I love the metaphor of feeling like something is not quite finished ... living with imperfections ... or not. Your mirror version has a slightly different meaning. Well done! :)

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    1. Hi Loredana! Thank you very much. Sometimes the artistic process is just enough :-)

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  9. this is very cool and it works so well in both directions... drawing has something so earthy -- capturing the lines, texture, shade of something..for me it brings a kind of connection as well.. and sometimes yeah.. no color needed..

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    1. Hi Claudia! I have really been enjoying your artwork. Earthy is a perfect way to describe drawing--intimate, almost like playing an instrument :-) Thank you!

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  10. What a curious and (I think) mischievous assignment. I loved what you did with it, though. Very creative.

    Greetings from London.

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    1. Hi Cuban! It was interesting--I recommend it:-)

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  11. What a cool assignment! I love what you did with it. I think they're a very interesting poem when read together. :)

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    1. Hi Rachel! That's an interesting thing to do--sounds a little like Lewis Carroll when I do that :-)

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    1. Hi Mad! Nice to see you :-) Thank you!

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  13. oh...:-D....thats interesting and fun....well written...

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    1. Hi Sreeja! Always nice to see you--thank you!

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  14. Ah... the artist is always so hard on themselves. Fun exercise this was... I like the second better as it ends with the hands - :)

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Your words are wonderful! Thanks for popping in--I'll be over in a snap!