Friday, August 1, 2014

Don't B Flat

The bluesman wailed under a swaying moon
The Ice Queen sipped the sound
Her tongue was sliced by C Sharp
But no blood was found
Melody flew through her lips
Then was consumed
By the sun
Rays
Of beat
Bounced off the trees
Who boughed and shook
Their shiny leaves
Willow gave a shimmy shake
Left musical leaf notes
In her wake
Breezling fingers flew
Between
Showering
Music that
Tasted green
And that old man
Couldn't stop clapping

This is offered for Claudia's prompt at Dverse Poets dVersepoets.com to write a fantasy story using certain characters--I used Ice Queen, Bluesman and a man who couldn't stop clapping.  This started as a response to Anthony's prompt last week to write a DMT dream type poem, but I was too late to link.  Really enjoyed blending the two. Hope you do too :-)

32 comments:

  1. ha. i think i might be clapping there with the old man....smiles...sounds like a fun jam out in the woods there...except the cut tongue...ouch...ha

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    1. Hi Brian! So happy that you enjoyed this. It was a very fun write, though I have to say that it's original incarnation wasn't as good, Claudia's characters made it much better :-)

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  2. I enjoyed the dram-like tone of your poem, Sara. And the image of that man clapping and clapping will longer with me for a while.

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    1. Hi Gabriella! That character of Claudia's really resonated with me, I saw from many of the poems that he touched other poets too. Thank you:-)

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  3. Now this is one imaginative write!

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    1. Hi Mary! Thank you very much. I really enjoyed yours as well :-)

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  4. A very lovely story that I can see the man clapping at the end ~ A magical melodious post ~

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    1. Hi Grace! Thank you for your lovely words :-)

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  5. I liked the note being sharp - you had me there :)

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    1. Hi BW! That was my starting point. Thank you for sharing in the fun I had with that :-)

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  6. oh i love the word play in the title...and i love when music tastes green...ha - what a cool description

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    1. Hi Claudia! Yes, I really enjoyed that line too. Thank you very much :-)

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  7. Music tasting green.. That's an image that will stay with me.

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    1. Hi Bjorn! Happy that I was able to make an impression :-)

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  8. "Willow gave a shimmy shake
    Left musical leaf notes
    In her wake".........and no wonder green music showered...lovely, lovely imagery...and i love the sun's magic touch to beat the icequeen...

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    1. Hi Sumana! Thank you very much, that part about the sun beat, and ice queen was complete serendipity, I was using beat in the musical sense, but I love how you read it! :-)

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  9. music that tasted green..i liked that a lot:)

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    1. Hi Arathi! Thank you, it one of my favorites too :-)

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  10. Thoroughly enjoyable. You took the prompt and had a great time with it. So creative.

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    1. Hi Victoria! Thank you, your poems were outstanding :-)

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  11. lovely!! this was so inventive in so many ways!!

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    1. Hi Arushi! Thank you, I had a lot of fun with it :-)

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  12. Imaginative fable. The ice queen singing was a nice touch.

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    1. Hi Rallentanda! Thank you, I love fables :-)

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  13. hmmm happiness should always be ther

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    1. Hi Vandana! It certainly put me in a happy mood to write this and then all the lovely comments--I'm a bit overwhelmed :-)

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  14. Good idea, aligning it to song. Enjoyed the read.

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    1. Hi Hamish! Thank you very much for the visit and I'm so glad you enjoyed the poem :-)

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  15. Wonderful write Sara! Where music is invoked it can win lots of support and accolades! Great!

    Hank

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    1. Hi Hank! So true, music is our common language and one of the things we remember even when most of our memory is gone (my mother-in-law has Alzheimer's but she still lights up when she hears her favorite songs) bittersweetness

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  16. As the last commenter implies, I may be a sucker for musically themed poems, but... I really liked this! I think I'm going to try to leave some musical leaf notes in MY wake today. :)

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  17. That first line really drew me in. The rest made me glad I stayed. :)

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Your words are wonderful! Thanks for popping in--I'll be over in a snap!