Tuesday, September 18, 2012

Keyless


He knows
Can almost feel the release
Hear the soft thud
As the fob and key
Fall into his son's hand
“I fell asleep at the stoplight”
He confesses to the office staff
But not to me
He knows
They'll tell me
He always shifts into neutral
Just
In
Case
But that doesn't make it safe
He knows
Freedom is a key
That fits in the ignition
A simple turn
Of events
No one wants to think it
Or say it
But
He knows

Written for Open Link night at dversepoets.com  Didn't intend to go to the dark side, but sometimes, life just takes you there, and the only key to escape is you gotta write a poem...

16 comments:

  1. oy....when we use our freedom we have to be ever conscious in how it bumps up against others....interesting piece..

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    1. Hi Brian! Well put, quite punny actually--thank you for the visit and thoughtful comment.

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  2. True sometimes life just takes you there...nicely penned.

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  3. Very poetic - just enough words to tell the story and no more. The panic, anxiety, and worry are left to the reader to feel (and feel again). Keys open doors and words do too. Well done.

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    1. Hi Beachanny--thank you for your thoughtful comments--this is an actual situation, my father-in-law is starting to fall asleep at stop lights. The angst in his eyes--he knows that it's almost time to give up his keys, and we know, but no one wants to say.

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  4. Freedom is a key that we all long to possess !!!

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    1. Love how everyone is interpreting this--so interesting. Thank you for the great comment :-)

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  5. nice metaphoric tale. well done. Thanks

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    1. Thank you Fred! Nice to see you, again. :-)

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  6. Sara, you have shared just enough for us all to add our own details....and complete the story. And, yes, I too sometimes have to visit the dark side when I write.

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    1. Hi Mary, I love the way you look at things--thank you for your thoughtful comments. I really enjoyed your close look poem.

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  7. Beachanny's correct.... Everything is left to the reader to decipher, which is totally awesome... But, I was thinkin gthat his mistake could have caused anything from his son's death to his being late for work, and everything in between..... Now I want to mourn, but would feel silly doing that for tardiness... I'm a lazy reader!

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    1. Hi John! Nice to see you. It is so interesting how everyone has built their own story in this poem. I was writing about the angst I see in my father-in-law, he knows he's about to that point where he needs to give up the car keys. He does fall asleep at stoplights and he knows it, so he puts his car in neutral (scary). We're trying to think up some driver solution--to leave him home, would just be waiting out death. Not a lazy reader at all--however, a very empathetic one--thank you.

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  8. You captured that situation and person so beautifully. I could very much relate to your verse.

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  9. Hi Mad! It's a tough situation isn't it? Thank you for the lovely compliment, though :-)

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Your words are wonderful! Thanks for popping in--I'll be over in a snap!