Walking has a rhythm, the gortex rain
jacket crunching against my shorts, follows that beat, in a
crunching-swish way, and the streams of water--falling, falling,
falling from the clouds-sky, from the tree-branches-needles-leaves,
hitting my head, my arms, my dog, my legs, the ground.
But what do I see? I see the streams of
water—falling, falling, falling onto the surface of the ponds and
splashing, bouncing back, makes me think of music, drums, a piano.
Rhythm. The challenge, wrap up that memory, soak it, turn it, tweak
it—put it into words that move, that make you feel the music, the
beat, the staccato, the mambo, the splash-dance of waterplay across a
still surface, a surface that yields, in explosive sprays. How to
trap this wonder, let loose my muse and paint with words, just the
right words, that put you into this moment, this raincoat, with me
while the rain falls, falls, falls while the clouds thunder and laugh
at my feeble attempts to capture magic with words.
I was recently asked about writing prose--always been intrigued, but never tried--so here it is my first attempt. I think. Brooke
Horvath's poem “Definition” says a prose poem should be...”not
too short and not too long, somewhere between a snort and a song.” I think I snorted.
Written for the Poetry Pantry at Poets United poetryblogroll.blogspot.com
Hello Sara, if this is your first prose poem, I think you are on the right track. It has that atmosphere which engages and holds the reader's focus. The splash of rain pits the surface in patterns throughout.
ReplyDeleteHi Harry! Thank you very much for your clever, poetic compliment--and for giving me a hint of perfect precipitation words!
DeleteWell, I snorted at your comment about snorting, but really enjoyed the prose poem. It speaks to the challenge of writing prose quite well.
ReplyDeleteMy Pantry Poem
Rachel, you are great! You made me laugh. Thank you very much for the visit and the compliment :-)
DeleteOh, anything to do with water, be it, rain, rivers, seas, you name it, I'll love it, whether it's poetry or prose. This is delightful, I was right there feeling the sploshes :)
ReplyDeleteHi Brenda! So glad to share a walk in the rain with you--happy that some of my words worked :-) I'm a water person too (in case you hadn't noticed...)
DeleteHi Sara... I enjoy your poetry. I guess you will have to decide whether you decide instead to do prose. And sometimes the two DO overlap.
ReplyDeleteMary, that means quite a lot to me--thank you very much. It was fun to play with prose, however, my muse is definitely poetry inclined. Always appreciate and enjoy your comments :-)
Delete... and a good snort indeed... vivid, beautifully written.
ReplyDeleteHi Laurie! quite a compliment from the queen of beautifully written :-)
DeleteI especially like:
ReplyDelete"the splash-dance of waterplay"
...a nice feel!
Hi! Wonderful to see you again :-) I enjoyed that phrase too, enjoyed even more watching it...Thank you very much!
Deletebetween a snort and a song...ha..i like that...cool work on your first prose piece as well..i love rain walks and even better in the forest cause the scents are just magical there...so well captured
ReplyDeleteHi Claudia! Thank you very much! And you are right, when you throw the forest into the mix there's that scent layer, one of my favorite things! :-)
Deletei think you captured the prose poetry perfectly! there was a lyrical quality that one doesn't find in ordinary prose. lovely!
ReplyDelete♥
Hi! What a lovely compliment! Could'not ask for any better on my first attempt :-) thank you so much!
DeleteA prose is a welcomed relief, Sara! Provides a respite from the usual verses that sometimes leave one wondering what they're driving at! Nicely!
ReplyDeleteHank
Hi Hank! Nice to see you again:-) Glad that you enjoyed the change, it was fun for me to play with a new form.
DeleteI enjoyed that. Well done!
ReplyDeleteHi Mad!! Great to see you :-) congratulations again on your award!
DeleteThis read--and I'm sure it was intended to do so--like a stream of consciousness, fitting the water theme nicely. Someone earlier mentioned pitting, and, that's apt. Every so often, the phrasing struck.
ReplyDeleteHi Jack! Thank you for visiting--yes, the streaming was intended. I loved that comment about pitting, glad that you picked up on that as well. See you soon!
ReplyDeleteMission accomplished, I felt like I was inside that coat too, as already stated - very engaging.
ReplyDeleteHi Robert! Wonderful to see you. You just made my day--thank you so much!
ReplyDeleteha fun...i like...and i think you did it as well....i love the rain...listening to its rhythm...and leaving everything so fresh....
ReplyDeleteHi Brian! Happy you share the rain joy-thank you!
ReplyDeleteFirst attempt? Hard to believe this beautiful mental dance was your first! Your description of a rainy day took my mind on a rainy waltz! And I think that's what prose should be, a dance of words..... It's a melody that surrounds the readers perception.... You accomplished that quite well with this!
ReplyDeleteHi John!
ReplyDeleteWow, that is quite a compliment, even poetic in it's own right. Really love that description of a "beautiful mental dance" Thank you very much!
Am late catching up as my computer was down all day yesterday. I so enjoyed every word and line of this watery offering...love all the sounds, sights and presence of water all through it. You took me with you. So well done.
ReplyDeleteSherry!! Yay! So sorry to hear that your computer was down--that is no fun. Love that "watery offering!" Thrilled that you enjoyed my first foray into prose, since you are a prose poet. Thank you very much!
Deletelovely prose or writing.
ReplyDeletekeep it up.
join our short story slam if you could.
Love thjs! All the more so because I recently posted a porse poem on rain, and it seems to me we've captured the same feeling in different words: http://passionatecrone.blogspot.com.au/2012/09/the-rain.html
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