Thursday, February 27, 2014

Morning Train

On a bough of fir
Sleepy atoms cuddled together
Linked like train cars
Sun shine lights, excites
Sending atoms stretch-
ing
Fling winged things
Black shapes coracoid
Clouds scatter avoid
Beakish Pierc-
ings
Sun pushes on horizon
Lifts belly--golden
And raises rays
Dew grasps grass
Tries to last
Instead becomes gas
'Ol Sol laughs
While atoms climb together
Aboard the Skyliner

This is in response to Mary's prompt at Poetry Jam poetryjaam.blogspot.com, to write about trains.  And, Creative Bloomings where Sara McNulty challenged us to write a poem with personification.  Coracoid is crow/beak shaped and the Skyliner is a train in Japan that goes between Tokoyo and the airport (seemed fitting...)  Inspired, as many poems are, by my morning walks with the dogs--walking by a stand of conifers it really looked like the trees had just flung the birds into the air...



12 comments:

  1. This is one of those poetic romps that just begs to be read aloud - and so I did! Thank you - Much enjoyed!!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Wendy! I'm so glad you did, thank you very much for the compliment and the smiles :-)

      Delete
  2. I felt like I was right on that morning train. Some nice lines here. I especially liked 'sun pushes on horizon.' A vivid write!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Mary! This was a great prompt, I was trying for visual. So happy you enjoyed it :-)

      Delete
  3. Replies
    1. Hi Ayala! Thank you very much :-)

      Delete
  4. I enjoyed seeing these birds as if they were a morning train , a fascinating image!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Gabriella! Thank you for that compliment, I was having fun playing with imagery :-)

      Delete
  5. Lovely musings from a morning walk with the dogs. I like the creative way you described this.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Peggy! Thank you for seeing the creativity :-)

      Delete
  6. ha i like how you used the train first as an allusion...how they link together like cars...and then bring the train in there in that last line as well...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hi Brian! Thanks you for noticing that, I was having a hard time with the ending, and then found the "skyliner" :-)

      Delete

Your words are wonderful! Thanks for popping in--I'll be over in a snap!