Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Dark Matter

Called to say,
“I'm taking a break”
She didn't know
(or maybe she did)
The break was more
Than meta-
Physical-a crack
In the glass round his
Heart
Vitreous anticipation
Shimmer to shatter
Tried to be light
In vain
The dark discovers
Deception

Day 2 of Poem A Day with Robert Brewer-Poetic Asides; also offered for the prompt from Alan who had some rocking music, with great lyrics-Crack in the Castle of Glass, at Poetry Jam poetryjaam.blogspot.com

30 comments:

  1. Hi, Sara! Glass around a heart, not good... although I've known a few, and been in similar situations. Those last few lines are haunting, mysterious.

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    1. Hi Laurie!! Sometimes I feel like that's about all the protection I have around that vital organ, and then other times not--I actually wasn't thrilled with the last lines, felt like I needed to have more closure, but with poem a day, I have to just throw it out there:-)

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  2. "Shimmer to shatter" -- I particularly like this. I do think there are often many more possibilities for deception in the dark even when one tries to be light. I enjoyed your poem!

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    1. Hi Mary!! I can't resist alliteration :-) Thank you!

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  3. A break, metaphysical or otherwise, always seems to demand some kind of unrehearsed, reactionary drama! Love the tensions in this poem!

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    1. Hi Gemma!! What an astute observation-glad you enjoyed the tensions, I was striving to create that:-)

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  4. The glass around his heart - I love this image, how fragile life is and how we can see into each others lives. Very thought provoking and great poetry.

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    1. Hi Alan!! You are so perceptive! The heart can be so fragile, and then so strong--thank you, your comments really made me smile :-)

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    1. Hi Cressida!! You win! That is exactly what this is about :-)

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  6. The lack of punctuation makes for an intriguing ambiguity at times. An enjoyable read.

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    1. Hi Dave!! I do enjoy creating ambiguity, though I have to confess it was haste, not intent that made me leave out punctuation :-)

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  7. smiles...nice line breaks in this...a break...i wonder how one really takes a break from life....from others...cressida may be right...

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    1. Hi Brian!! Yes, Cressida was right--though a break from others works too :-)

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  8. Hi! Welcome--really enjoyed your poem as well :-)

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  9. the glass round his heart...fragile stuff and wonder how it comes out after the "break"...a whole different story me thinks..

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    1. Hi Claudia! You thinks correctly, isn't that always the first step?

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  10. Love your creative punctuation - or lack thereof! It worked so well. "Shimmer to shatter" surely worked well, too!!!

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    1. Hi Mary Ann!! Loved your creativity as well, thank you very much :-)

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  11. Great word play and positioning in this piece! I read this one a few times, playing with the stress on words and the flow from line to line ... fun! Great work here!

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    1. Hi Susan!! That really makes my day when someone takes the time to read through and play with the words! Thank you so much!!

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  12. Loved the mystery in this Sara. Great response to the prompt. Looks like you are busy this month!

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    1. Hi David!! It was fun to create some mystery, and I'm trying to keep with an annual tradition of Poem a Day-its a stretch! :-)

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  13. Oh-oh ... calling to announce a break. Hard as it is, best to do that face to face. I also enjoyed 'shimmer to shatter.' Very nice.

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    1. Hi Helen!! How perceptive of you! That is so true. Always love hearing from you:-)

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  14. Some excellent word paintings in this. Lots of meaning each time I reread it. Thanks for visiting my blog as well!

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    1. Hi Peggy!! Thank you for taking the time to reread and find new meanings. Always love to visit your blog :-)

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  15. "Vitreous anticipation" I loved that expression, very sad poem one that hits a bit too close to home

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    1. Hi! and Welcome:-) Thank you so much for noticing that, it was one of my favorites. Yes, that phrase is usually not what it means, it's just a way of saying goodbye without using those words.

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Your words are wonderful! Thanks for popping in--I'll be over in a snap!